台灣有句俚語:「人若不照倫理,天就不照甲子。」 這句話現在看來真的正確。

 

    近五十年來台灣社會的變化太大了。其實不僅我們的社會,可以說整個地球村的自然生態都和往昔大不相同。據媒體報導南北極的冰山正在加速溶化中,由於海水的異常暖化一些南洋的小島諸如:吐瓦魯、帛琉、馬爾地夫…等不須多久都會被淹沒在海水裡。而地球上空臭氧層的破洞也越破越大,臭氧層是保護地球避免受外太空有毒物質侵襲的寶蓋,如今隨著地球溫度及二氧化碳不斷的增加,使它的破洞日漸擴大的確讓人擔憂。科學家們預估若對地球環境不善加保護,不須五十年地球就不適合人類居住。

 

    因此,許多宗教家挺身而出呼籲地球居民,力行節能減碳運動共同愛護地球,不能再任意破壞它或過度開發來壓榨它,才能讓它永續生存。世界各國領袖們有感於事態嚴重遂達成共識,聯合簽署「京都協議」落實此美好的構想。

 

    台灣自九二一大地震後地質變的脆弱,遇雨成災不雨即旱,尤其土石流的危害更是讓人心驚膽戰寢食難安。除了地震頻繁的驚恐外,氣候的異常也教人無法安居樂業。其實若能細心思考即知這些異象,並非偶發事件而是人類為了追求文明、為了增加私利濫墾山林所造成的(是貪瞋痴之遺害)。補救的方法先從改變人心著手,唯有熄滅貪瞋痴才能挽救地球免受踐踏與摧殘。

 

   “貪瞋痴”欲熄滅依佛家教導須勤修“戒定慧”;儒家則用“倫理道德”來規範;道家引用“因果法則”來勸說。戒定慧的修習及因果法則的洞悉較為深奧,所以今天我以「重拾遺失的倫理道德觀念」來和大家共同探討,期望此真誠心能對我們的社會、國家、及地球有些幫助。

 

    倫理道德的觀念遺失了近百年,現在的小孩已不懂甚麼叫倫理道德,這不能責怪因為他的父母也疏忽教導。在我爸爸、阿公、及祖父那個年代,倫理道德的觀念還很深厚,我很幸運能成長在尊重倫理道德的家庭。從小親眼看爸爸用甚麼態度孝順祖父祖母,如何與叔叔姑姑相處,尤其用恭敬心對待叔公嬸婆的禮數,更是給我留下深刻的印象。

 

    以前的冬天似乎比較冷,每日清晨張開眼睛即看到爸爸右手緊握著“火籠”搖呀搖的,等裡面的木炭紅了熱了才和洗臉水一起拿到阿嬤的臥房。當看到阿嬤盥洗過後手托著“火籠”微笑著走出臥房時,我們都會跑過去叫著:「阿嬤!我也要烘手。」爸爸會笑著說:「小孩屁股三斗火怎會怕冷。」

 

    阿嬤中風多年,爸爸均規定我們每天要講笑話給阿嬤聽。爸爸說:「中風的人要鼓勵她常笑幫助身體內臟震動,這樣才會更健康。」煮東西給阿嬤吃也要煮久些,讓它熟爛了才比較好消化。叔公若到我家串門,一定要馬上端椅子請他坐,然後泡茶給他喝不能怠慢。我婚後每次回娘家,爸爸也都親自泡茶又很有禮貌的端給我,每次均不好意思地請他不要這樣客氣。爸爸說:「妳已結婚了,回來是客禮數照來。」我聽了好感動,平日待人若沒有一絲恭敬,就太對不起用心教導我的爸爸了。

 

    其實中國自古即是禮儀之邦,全世界有四個文明古國,其中有三個已被時代淘汰,只有中華民族能倚立不搖,許多國外的專家學者都很好奇地做研究,終於發現原來中國沒被淘汰沒被滅亡的因素是:(一)家族的觀念濃厚。(二)倫理道德的思想根深蒂固。以前大家都很羨慕講英文的國家,未來二十一世紀會大大改變,中文將變成世界的主流而受重視,孝親尊師的道德觀念也會被認同,尤其中醫的價值會備受肯定且發揚光大。

 

    我們來分析一下,為何上一代和這個世代倫理道德的觀念落差這麼多?上一輩的人受的教育雖少,但從日常生活與長輩的相處中,即可學到很多孝親尊師的禮節,平日所看、所聽、所說的也都離不開忠孝節義、敦厚忍讓、謙虛廉潔的倫理道德。一些社會上有名望的賢達士紳,給人的印象都是溫文儒雅學養兼優,讓人心生敬仰學習的念頭。耳濡目染所薰習的都是教導人要成為正派的好人,行為當然不會偏差,而能培養出單純正直的好品性。

 

    反觀現代人喜歡倣效西方文化,可惜只學到皮毛缺乏深入;也就是優點尚未深耕陋習卻已結果,真的令人感嘆萬千!今天的年輕人自我主義重家族觀念淡薄,人與人交往均以功利為導向追求物質甚於精神。孩子從小即受電視網路的薰陶,裡面的內容光怪陸離虛幻不實,充滿殺盜淫妄的劇情多,教禮教孝的節目較少。幼兒心靈純潔容易受其影響,無形中培養出虛擬不實的性格。變成不負責任、不肯付出只求個人享樂,即俗稱的:草莓族、肯特族、靠爸族、或宰男宰女。

 

    孩子教成這樣一來是大環境影響,二來是少子化父母太寵了。古時周文王的母親懷他時很注重胎教,非禮勿視、非禮勿聽、非禮勿說,凡事遵從禮節才能教養出這樣優秀的聖賢。孟母三遷是千古留芳家喻戶曉的佳話。可見人格之養成、賢愚之差異有其因果,種甚麼因得甚麼果絲毫不爽。

 

    倫理道德就像樹根,樹根強壯枝葉必定茂盛;若樹根衰敗枝葉不久亦會枯萎。倫理道德涵蓋的範圍深廣無邊,今天我只舉比較普遍的五倫來和大家共勉。

 

    常聽長輩說:你怎可五倫不分呢!五倫指哪五種?1.君臣、2.父子、3.夫婦、4.兄弟、5.朋友。五倫是道,能遵循即是德。

 

(一)君臣有義:君即今之總統、臣即政府官員。君臣要獲得彼此之信賴相互有共識必須講義。義以信任為基礎,代表正正當當的行為,沒有狂妄詐欺的態度。所謂:「君者止於仁,臣者止於敬」。意思是在上位的人要用仁慈公正的胸懷來對待部屬,不聽信奸佞小人的挑撥離間。部屬則以恭敬謙虛坦蕩踏實的心態禮敬上司,對上司交代的事能用真誠恭敬、不違怠不循私的心去達成,一切遵照制度規矩和禮節。這就是君臣有義。從歷史上看,凡是國家富強百姓安和樂利的朝代,都是明君主朝忠臣輔政。若是國之將亡則出現昏庸無能的暴君,日日沉迷酒色不理國政;加上一群貪贓枉法、寡廉少恥無義無德的奸佞小人橫行亂紀,上無能下無恥焉能不亡國。所謂:國之將亡妖孽必生。可見唯有德智兼備又能勤政愛民的賢明領袖,才能獲得奉公守法清廉恭敬的部屬來追隨。這是天道也是福報。

 

(二)父子有親:父子是道、有親是德。一個家若想得到正常的發展、想擁有良善的生長環境,家人之間相互的尊重和關懷、父子之間的包容和親愛是十分重要的。如果父子相見互不吭聲就像見到仇人,這樣的家能稱為家嗎?充其量只能稱房子跟監獄有何兩樣。父母是天沒有父母哪有子女!父母宛如守護子女的天使,一個人如果連自己的父母都無心孝養,今生絕對無法圓滿。

 

    三字經云:人之初性本善。這是從嬰兒剛出生不久對父母的表現來說的。觀嬰兒注視父母的無邪眼神,即能充分顯露父子有親這人性善良的美麗。長大後會有落差那是因為性相近習相遠,即教養方法不同習性才各異。如果認為父母須仁慈愛我,給我很多財產我才要孝順,那跟外人有什麼兩樣。父子之親是天性,這種深厚的情份是用金錢買不到的。天下人何其多,為何偏偏跟彼此有緣呢!只是這可貴的真理,有多少人能深刻了解而惜緣感恩。

    現代人孩子生得少,每個小孩一出生就是掌中珍,一定給他吃最好的、穿最貴最高級的,不願他輸在起跑點、不讓他受一點苦。父母所賺的錢幾乎都花在兒女身上,年老的父母只得靠老人年金過日子。更有不肖的子女不但不知感恩父母,連父母賴以維生的微薄收入也偷偷盜走呢!對兒女如此溺愛,對父母卻這般苛刻冷漠,孩子看在眼裡長大後有樣學樣,倫理道德就這樣不知不覺地遺失了。

 

    俗云:父母疼子長流水,子想父母樹尾風。如果子女對父母的言語不重視、對父母的起居沒有用心關照,就感受不到父母對他無私的付出,反而認為父母所給的都是理所當然。如此不只感恩心生不出來,父子有親的感情也無法培養。時代越進步人與人之間的距離卻越疏遠。重拾倫理道德的觀念真的刻不容緩。

 

    曾經有人疑問:如果遇到不愛子女、虐待兒女的父母還要孝順他們嗎?須用甚麼態度去面對?《弟子規》裡有一句話說的好:親愛我孝何難,親憎我孝方賢。意思是父母仁慈愛護我,我孝順他們有甚麼困難。父母遺棄我憎恨我我仍能真心孝順他,這才是人間真正的孝道。孔子有一個學生叫閔子騫,幼時喪母父親再娶又生二子。後母虐待他父親知悉後欲將後母休掉。子騫跪下哀求父親:母在一子單,母去三子寒。後母被他的孝行感動終於成為慈母。他的孝行不但安頓了全家人的心,也成為千古流傳的最佳典範

 

(三)夫婦有別:這是指夫妻的位置和責任不一樣。夫妻的關係是透過結婚的儀式而建立。古時的婚姻制度比較慎重,媒人介紹雙方認識相親後,須經三番二次的探聽,確定對方沒有不良的傳言,家世起碼三代清白才會論及婚嫁。結婚的禮節嚴謹繁瑣又複雜。有句台語說:懂禮無子婿可做。把結婚當成一生只一次來經營,因此離婚的人很少。現代的婚姻制度比較簡單草率,採取登記制只要繳二百元即可成立。而且年輕人幾乎是自由戀愛父母少有主導權,由於無審慎思慮及精挑細選,婚後若發現個性不合,彼此無法適應即馬上協議離婚,不珍惜亦不後悔使離婚率居高不下,根據統計每二對就有一對離婚,數字實在驚人。

 

    古德云:修得十年同船渡、修得百年共枕眠。有多少人懂得它的深意呢?結婚前花很多時間和金錢所拍的甜蜜相片,離婚後只要一把火即全部燒光光,真叫人心疼。若無小孩還好處理,如果有小孩苦的是誰?一時的衝動無知連累了多少無辜者!

 

    有一首台語歌叫『針線情』意境很好。其中提到夫是針妻是線針線本是相連,比喻的真巧妙。男性是陽主動在外,像針一樣堅硬剛強走在前面。女性是陰被動屬內,像線一樣柔順綿長跟在針的後面。針和線的比喻不是說針(男)比較高貴優越,線(女)比較低賤脆弱,而是指各自的功能和位置不相同。“針”堅硬理應先行於前,負責開導創新顯現向前走的動力。“線”柔細綿長本來就須緊跟在針的後面,具有牢牢縫住衣物使其永久維持的重大責任。有針無線或有線無針都不能成事,兩者相互幫襯互補不足才能完美,就像松樹與牡丹花各有特色各有所長,沒有好壞強弱的差別。

 

    夫主外全力為事業打拼,妻主內教養小孩照顧公婆使丈夫無後顧之憂,這是幸福家庭的藍圖。可是現代家庭的結構不同位置錯亂,連帶使社會產生亂象。夫妻同時在外上班孩子尚小就送到“尿布班”,把教養的責任全託給他人,孩子感受不到親子的溫暖,倫理道德的規範蕩然無存。

 

我分享一段故事來印證親子關係的重要:

 

    有位雕刻師的太太,帶著六歲卻不能走路的小孩到老師家請教老師。她說:我小孩已吃許多藥看過無數名醫還是無法走路,為什麼會這樣?

老師仔細看她然後問:妳有禮拜妳丈夫嗎?

婦女答:那樣的丈夫不值得我禮拜。

老師問:為何這麼說?

婦女答:我的丈夫雖是一個雕刻家,每年也都有作品參展,但是從來不曾得獎作品都賣不出去,所以沒有收入來養家。我們的生活都靠我變賣嫁妝及作零工來度過,這樣的丈夫我無法禮拜他。

 

老師說:我教妳禮拜丈夫,不是要妳禮拜他的財產、或賺錢的能力以及他雕刻的技術,這種外在的東西不值得禮拜。我要妳真正去了解妳先生生命中所含藏的神的生命,也就是身體裡面的神性。妳的小孩不能站立走路,就是你應該尊敬的地方妳沒有尊敬心才顯現到孩子的身上。孩子是父母心念的投影,孩子身上顯現的狀態就是父母心的狀態。妳的心只思慮著小孩而忘記尊敬丈夫,也就是該挺立的地方卻不讓它挺立(堅硬),就是這個心使妳的小孩站不起來。

 

婦女慚愧地問:有甚麼補救的方法嗎?

 

老師點頭說:有,現在來學也不遲。請妳暝目合掌內心興起尊敬丈夫的心意,面對妳丈夫的方向禮拜懺悔,用妳的心眼諦觀妳丈夫內在神的生命之實相。請妳現在用真誠心禮拜觀想。

   

    婦女含著感激的淚水合掌禮拜時,老師則對那小孩說:孩子呀!妳是神子,神子的腳不會站不起來。神不會創造不完全的形體。妳的腳一定可以站起來,請妳現在就站起來走到我這邊。

 

    老師同時也教小孩要自信的說:我是神子!我能站能走路。小孩一邊跟著老師念一邊將腳慢慢站直,然後小心地往前走,一直走到老師前面才停住。

 

    婦人高興地拍手啜泣,謝過老師後背著小孩回去。待她先生回來時她高興地把這好消息告知先生。先生馬上要小孩走走看,小孩卻皺著眉憂慼的搖著頭站不起來。  

 

丈夫冷冷的說:妳看這根本是騙人的、是催眠術啦!妳太無知太容易上當了,沒有用啦!

 

太太說:這真的不是騙術也不是催眠。坦白告訴你好了,其實那個老師說我們的小孩不能走路,是因為我沒用真誠的心來對待你才會這樣。當時老師教導我必須面對你的方向,誠心的尊敬你禮拜你並跟你懺悔,我老實地依照老師的話做,孩子真的會走喲!我沒騙你。

 

丈夫驚訝的問:真的嗎?老師真的這麼說嗎?那真是一個好老師。明天我們一起去拜訪她。第二天上午他們準時到老師家拜訪,並把小孩不能走的事再請教老師。

 

老師說:因為你的心充滿懷疑不信任才會這樣。這不是騙術也非催眠。孩子是父母心念的影子,你們夫妻沒有互相尊重、相互禮拜才會這樣。夫是天妻是地,天地之氣能彼此交融綿密結合,那個地方的作物必定大豐收;若天地之氣不相交融,當地不是旱災就是水災,這和夫妻的相處之道是相同的。於是老師請他們夫妻相對跪著,用真誠的心合掌禮拜相互尊重。那孩子果然很自然地站起來而且走的很自在,一家三人此時相擁而泣頻頻點頭感謝老師。夫妻結合本是緣分怎能不珍惜呢!

 

(四)長幼有序:這是說大小有一定的順序。當兄姐的年紀較大,懂得的道理多經驗也比較豐富,理應愛護弟妹幫助弟妹;做弟妹的年紀小經驗不足,要聽從兄姐的教導不能妄自尊大自以為是。也就是當兄姐的要有其穩重威嚴,做弟妹的要能順從禮讓乖巧聽話,這叫兄友弟恭,這樣的家庭是真正的孝悌之家。兄弟姊妹都能和睦相處衝突自然減少,父母看在眼裡也會感到欣慰,無形中便已盡了孝道。這樣的家所傳送出來的溫馨,比紫羅蘭的花壇還要芳香哪!

 

    孔融讓梨的美德,雖已年代久遠仍是千古傳頌,因為這種禮讓的謙德已不多見。當前的社會崇尚競爭誰也不讓誰,有東西一定搶最鮮最頂極的;分財產也要分最佳最值錢的地段。但是奉養父母卻要精算而且錙銖必較,誰也不願吃虧不想被佔便宜。這都是不明白長幼有序的倫理道德,若能深明兄弟相攜找同一個父母投胎,是難得的宿世因緣,一定要惜緣惜福相互禮讓彼此尊重。

 

    幾個月前,有兩個兄弟一起來我診所看診,同時來卻面無表情互不交談使我有些納悶。問過才知原來兩人為了爭父母遺產,大打出手惡言相向已三十多年不相往來。爸爸常說:仁義莫交財,交財仁義斷。真的一點也不錯。連自己的親兄弟都如此計較,對待別人能用仁慈寬厚的心態嗎?他們的子女會用甚麼眼光來看待呢!

 

    周文王的故事很值得回味~文王的父親排行第三,照倫理王位應由大兒子繼承,怎會輪到他呢?只因文王剛出世時,文王的祖父古公亶父即高興的說:「我們周家將來一定興旺,因為出生了一個能興盛家業的人,那個人就是昌(文王)。」

 

    文王的大伯父泰伯,是一個既有智慧也很有度量的人,孔子讚歎他是世間難得的至德聖人。他聽父親如此說明白父親的心意,於是有一次藉父親生病須到南方採藥,便偕二弟仲雍到南方遠行,並於此時將自己紋身斷髮。這一來就不能接受王位而能圓滿父親的心願,順利地把王位讓給三弟再傳給周昌,成就了中國歷史上有名的周朝盛世。沒有泰伯的禮讓中國的歷史恐怕要改寫了。

 

(五)朋友有信:信是守信用講誠信。交朋友最重要的是交一個信守承諾的人,一個人若連信用都沒有還值得交往嗎?講話不算話不負責任隨便說說這是詐欺的行為,這樣的人雖外表看來很體面但是不能深交。真正的好朋友是說話算話,為人正直有禮又守信用,不會亂答應他人的要求,可是一旦答應就會說到做到,實實在在絕不食言。

 

    有信用的人雖一時失志,但很快就會再站起來。因為他那堅守承諾的人格會受到肯定,自然能遇到提拔他的善緣來幫助他,不須擔心會被埋沒,這是宇宙的法則。也就是你放出甚麼念波,就會接收到甚麼樣的念波。一個講信用的人必定會和守信用的人相吸。台灣有句俚語:龍交龍、鳳交鳳、駝背配鈍愚。所以不用擔憂自己這麼守信用會不會被騙,人善人欺天不欺、好人總會有好報。只要堅守誠信原則,上天絕對會拉拔你幫助你並成就你。

 

    孔子說:如果一個人不守信用就沒有資格算是人。這種人雖也具備各種才能學識,若沒了信用無法在社會立足,得不到他人的信任和尊敬。信用就像汽車的油,這台車外觀雖好看功能也不錯配備又齊全,可是若沒有油一定跑不動只能放著,車子若無法在馬路上奔馳跟廢物一樣,要它做甚麼?

 

    想成為一個守信用的人,必須平時就養成明辨是非、分別善惡的好習慣,對一些不合法會損害人的事絕對不做。我引述八仙的故事來解說:有次漢鐘離告知呂洞賓,我有一套仙術可以點石成金你要學嗎?呂洞賓問他這個已變成金子的石頭,會再變回石頭的原貌嗎?漢鐘離回答會呀!但那已是五百年以後了。呂洞賓搖著頭說這我不想學,因為我不希望五百年後得到這些金子的人傷心。這就是遵守誠信的人格。

 

    要落實誠信對於做不到的事不可輕易答應,若是沒考慮清楚就答應,然後又因做不到而後悔,你就會成為一個不守信用的人。儘管不是有意但是人格卻已染污受害。因此無論做甚麼事,要先橫量自己的能力和時間,認為自己可以承擔才可允諾,寧可得罪於前絕不能懊悔於後,才不會造成人格的污點。

 

    俗話說:君子一言既出駟馬難追。我們實應謹記在心,不論在言語上或行動上,都要成為真正堅守信用的人,那麼你肯定是一個人人都想親近的好人。這就是朋友有信的重要關鍵。

 

以上是有關五倫的小小淺見,希望大家聽了都能受益,也祈望能在生活上落實。感謝!(98.12.24)

 

 

 

 

 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               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